12 secrets & 52 weeks of me

52 WEEKS OF ME - WEEK FIVE



12 SECRETS - CHAPTER FOUR
SURRENDERING TO CREATIVE CYCLES

this chapter discusses how our creativity comes in cycles of birth, death and rebirth. by understanding these cycles, we can go with the flow instead of fighting against the current and, in doing so, our creativity will emerge freely when the time is right.

i believe that creative voids come and go but, the big ones, generally come with situations that make a huge impact on our lives, such as an accident, illness, relationship break-up or even a death.

i have had some major upheavals in my life and there have been some dark voids as a result. the last being when a 2½ year relationship had ended and, while i welcomed the break-up because i knew it was turning toxic, i guess i felt like a failure and found myself in a deep dark well of depression. i went through the daily motions of living in a zombie-like state...on auto-pilot. i was unhappy and mortified inside but i managed to put on a brave face for the sake of my kids. i had absolutely no urge to paint and i didn't care. i just wanted to be left alone to wallow in my deep, dark well. this went on for three months and i don't even know what the turning point was but, one day, i suddenly found myself feeling an incredibly strong desire to decorate my home using elements of feng shui. it was like i felt renewed inside as i went about beautifying my home with a fresh, new outlook....i was smiling again and it felt empowering! my home decorating interest also led me back to painting because i wanted to paint canvasses to match my home decor. i was back in the game!

my own daughter found herself in a similar void last year which i've mentioned in a previous post. michelle had always been creative but, on entering the workforce years ago, it was kinda put to the wayside. it took the car accident and being unable to work for michelle's creativity to break free. so it seems that change, even negative, can be a good thing and i have come to learn that these voids are as important as our active creative cycles. we just need to trust, be patient, and go with the flow.

on a smaller scale, if we want to be creative but feel blocked, it can sometimes help to do things differently. take a break from regular routines and rituals, try tea instead of coffee, walk in the rain, dance like nobody is watching, try a new hairstyle, or wear something you wouldn't normally wear for a day, etc. take notes of any thoughts or ideas that may flow forth because of this variance from the norm. you may be surprised.....

photo a day & 12 secrets book club

JANUARY PHOTO A DAY - MEET MY FAMILY

family collage created by michelle and beau. it lives on my fridge for all to see. click on image to enlarge

starting with my only daughter, michelle, who is such an inspiration to me. a girl who has never sewn a day in her life yet she started making, from scratch, the most gorgeous rag dolls in the later part of last year. you see, michelle found herself unable to work in the corporate world due to injuries she sustained in a car accident at the very end of 2007, however, she woke up one morning and said she had a dream about making dolls and so she did. how cool is that?! michelle also is a talented artist and i think she's planning on getting back into that too.

next, there is aaron, my youngest, who just started grade five at school. he is my constant companion and is a great help to me. we do a lot of stuff together such as, crafting, painting, photography outings, animal crusades, gardening, shopping, etc.....needless to say he gets spoiled rotten by all of us.

then there is me......well, you know about me already so i won't bore you with any more details.

next is bradley who, in the picture, appears to be wearing a rather large, old-fashioned wig which is, in fact, a set of headphones. lol you see, brad LOVES music hence the little music notes rising above his head. brad has been legally blind and hearing impaired since birth but that doesn't stop him playing the electronic keyboards or being a bit of a computer whizz. he really knows his stuff.

then comes beau who, most times, stands with the foot of one leg firmly anchored against the knee of his other leg. funny thing is that i used to stand that exact same way in my teen years. lol beau is a manager at 'target' but is also a keen photographer and artist who works mostly in coloured pencil, graphite and, most recently, pastels. he creates from his emotions and his work is amazing! beau loves animals and music too. he recently bought himself an electric guitar and has a classical guitar on order. i don't know if my poor ear drums will be quite ready for the onslaught. lol

then there is reece who, as my regular readers will already know, is big into fitness and personal training....hence the weights in his hands and, of course, the big muscles depicted on his arms. lol i forget what the big hat was supposed to symbolise. reece isn't too bad at drawing and he's a natural when it comes to playing guitar. when he first bought his guitar a year ago, i showed him the basic chords and, by the end of that week, he had taught himself, with brad's help, to play notes and songs.

lastly, is alex....michelle's de facto boyfriend. they have been together for four years and are perfectly suited. he has been a tower of strength for michelle since her accident and he fits into our family perfectly. alex likes surfing and, in the pic, is racing to the beach with surfboard in hand. i love how beau depicted alex with his hair blowing in the wind.

so, there you have it.....my family. poor cody, my dog, was not included but, rest assured, he is a much loved member of the family too.

12 SECRETS - CHAPTER THREE

FOLLOWING YOUR FASCINATIONS

i found this chapter a little hard to get into but, after reading some of the other '12 secret' blogger posts, i'm relieved to see that i wasn't the only one.

this secret/chapter speaks of taking risks, following our creative intuition, developing staying power and listening to our hearts.

as i turn 50 in march, i can look back and see that i've taken some life-changing risks along the way and, while those risks may not have worked out at the time (mainly concerning relationships), i feel they helped to bring me to where i am today. i've been happily divorced for 9 years, i have a loving and close relationship with all five of my kids and, because i stay home and care for my oldest son, bradley, i am able to paint and craft when i can. yes, money is tight but we're happy.

as far as following my creative intuition.....well, i'm torn because i feel myself being pulled in different directions. my skills lie in realism animal art which i love and will always love, however, in the past year i have found myself feeling drawn more and more towards the world of mixed media art. this area is very new to me as i'm used to having reference images to work from but i'm loving it. i hear some artists say that we need to each find our own special niche and focus solely on that.....e.g. if you're an animal artist, specialise by only painting animals. i love realism animal art but i am also loving the new experience with mixed media art. starting with a blank canvas and having absolutely no idea where it's going to end up is a freeing experience for me. these are two very different styles of art. do i sacrifice one for the sake of the other or is it possible to enjoy both at the same time? do i harm my fine detail skills if i loosen up too much for the mixed media art? things to think about but why not enjoy both if i can?

yet another decision i'm currently facing is that i have recently been asked to draw up some 'australian aboriginal' portrait samples for an 'aboriginal art dealer' with the possibility that it may well bring me some paid work. while i'm fairly confident that i would be capable of portraiture, i've never felt the desire to be a portrait artist. my heart says no to this offer but my head is thinking...well it's money too.

i guess i'm a little selfish in wanting to follow my own desires. i'm not so sure i see this offer as an opportunity after having made the 'money' mistake once before when i took up teaching art because it conveniently crossed my path one day. teaching was something i never felt drawn to but i figured it crossed my path for a reason and i thought it would help a little on the financial side of things. i ended up resenting the teaching because it kept me away from my own art time and i ended up feeling suffocated. i was designing subject matter solely for what others wanted to paint, all the time yearning to paint the things i wanted to paint. after five years of teaching, i felt immense relief last year when i made the decision to stop teaching altogether.

so, do i choose this 'portraiture' path that i'm not feeling drawn to at all or do i heed my heart and follow my fascinations instead?

12 secrets & photo-a-day

PHOTO A DAY - JANUARY 22ND

today, i did some rearranging in the studio and i feel wonderful! firstly, i replaced the old section of carpet that was stained and worn. the new section of carpet looks lovely and dresses the place up a bit.

before, the second desk was positioned to form a U-shape but it made my painting area feel quite cramped so, today, i moved the second desk further across and it made a huge difference in opening up my painting area. the following pics are of two different angles of the new arrangement. i'm rapt!!!


12 SECRETS - #2 - HONOURING MY INSPIRATIONS

this week, we discuss how we honour our inspirations.

first and foremost, we need to listen and recognise them as inspirations. then we can open ourselves to the possibility of exploring them further in whatever creative play we are drawn to. it's a great idea to create a personal space to do this, big or small. years ago, i had a studio in the garage of our house but later, we moved to a house that didn't allow me to have that personal space anymore. i found it very difficult to drag out all my art supplies each time i wanted to paint, only to have to put them away again before dinner....i managed it for four long years. i was overjoyed when we moved again and i was able to organise a small studio space to create in. four years later we moved again and, this time, i made a point of creating an even bigger studio area in our double garage. i love knowing that when the painting urge hits me, i can just go paint. creative rituals are another great way to honour your inspirations.

when did my creative awakening occur? i firmly believe that we are all creative though, sometimes due to our life experiences, many of us are disconnected from it. i guess i've shown creative ability throughout my whole life but never realised it until recent years. i remember drawing regularly as a child. i did a lot of sewing in my teen and child-bearing years. then, by sheer accident in my mid-thirties, i discovered a passion for art in my life.

what talents do i have, naturally? i'm not really sure i understand the question correctly but i think i am patient when it comes to my art. i'm also good at paying attention to finer details which i think helps a lot in my realistic paintings. other talents.....i don't think i do too bad in the kitchen as the kids prefer my home-cooked meals to takeaway food any day. i've been told that i make a good hostess and people seem to feel happy and welcome in my home. i do like to fuss over visitors.

which elements draw me toward them? i feel very strongly drawn to water. i have always dreamed of living in a house near the sea and i adore blue/green colour combinations which i also relate to water.

where and when do i create? i mostly create in my home studio when i'm painting but, when i'm working with graphite or coloured pencils, it's usually in my dining room or, at the computer desk, if i'm using a reference image file. i try to create during the daytime as i prefer working in natural lighting, but over the past few months, i have found i am creating a lot more at night too.

where and when would i like to create? as per the previous answer, however, i have been making changes in my studio because i've been yearning for months now to make my studio a more homely and welcoming place to create. a place that reflects facets of who i am. a place where i can kick back and just relax if i want to.

what activates my creative energy? hmmmmmm, i'm not really sure, to be honest. i think anything has the potential to activate my creative energy. i am very inspired by some of the amazing artists i have met online. i am inspired by nature. i am inspired through meditation. i also find that, by just sitting at my studio table, i will feel the urge to create.

what drains it? busy schedules, or distractions, that don't allow me creative time in my studio. my studio takes up half the space in a double garage while the other half is used for storage and a workout space for my son. the storage space seems to attract items which are no longer wanted in the house and, sometimes, it starts to exceed it's boundaries. when this clutter builds up, i can feel stifled and blocked creatively. thankfully, through the 'soul coaching' program which involved a lot of clutter clearing, i made huge headway in that area and now, i seem to act sooner on clearing away the excess.

do i use creative rituals? i do like the rest of the house to be in reasonable order before i can create more freely in the studio. i also like to tidy up the immediate area of my workspace. fresh water in the brush-rinse jars, cotton buds, blending fabric, paper towels neatly folded for brush blotting, everything i need in its place and at the ready. i ALWAYS have music playing in the background...alanis morrisette - 'the collection' is one of my favourites. any cd of enigma, relaxation music, celtic and many more, however, i must admit that i'm not a huge fan of classical music, jazz or blues. i do like the idea of burning incense or lighting a candle to acknowledge my creative time.

does nature influence my creativity? i find that a walk in nature or a trip to the beach gets my creative juices flowing, however, i need to get more in the habit of noting down the ideas that come to me as i all too easily forget them. i do have an ideas journal for this reason but, sometimes, i'm lazy and don't bother writing stuff down. i need to rectify that.

what has been my greatest creative hurdle so far? i think the fact that it took me a long time to feel comfortable actually calling myself an artist and plus, getting past the fear of not being capable.

what time of day are you most receptive to inspiration? i feel that i can be open to inspiration at any time of the day depending on my mood.

what would you answer to these questions?

photo a day & 12 secrets book club

thank you all so much for your caring comments re. my migraine yesterday. i so appreciated them. i woke up feeling much better this morning and i'm sure your caring thoughts helped.

JANUARY PHOTO A DAY - 15TH

today, i shopped til i dropped. i am attending a wedding this weekend so decided to treat myself to a new dress. you all know how that goes, right? i checked out local stores yesterday but just couldn't find THE one. so, today, i took the highway to another suburb.....

....and after much walking and numerous visits to changing rooms, i finally settled on one.

helen's comment yesterday prompted the next couple of pics. helen complimented me on the fact that there was no mess in my journal decorating pic but i just couldn't tell a lie. these pics show my work tables from a different angle.....

and the floor showing all the trimmed wool fibres...
not so neat after all.......i tend to get quite messy when i'm working. lol

BOOK CLUB - 12 SECRETS OF HIGHLY CREATIVE WOMEN

well, here i am, just skimming in for the end of week one in the book club. i did read the chapter on friday but this week has been quite busy so i didn't get a chance to post about it until now.

WEEK ONE - ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR CREATIVE SELF

my journey so far -

in my younger years, i was hooked on sewing. i studied 'homecrafts (cooking/sewing)' in high school and i found it to be very beneficial, particularly when married life came along. at that time, i sewed A LOT of clothes for my kids and my extended family. i loved the feeling of accomplishment in seeing a garment created from a length of fabric.

i had no idea i even had an artistic bone in my body until my early-thirties when another school mum had a minor accident with my parked and vacant kombi van. it turned out she was new to the area and was hoping to start teaching 'folk art' classes. i managed to organise a group of my friends together and we made up her very first art class. from the moment i picked up a paintbrush, i was totally hooked! art was my new found passion and sewing quickly took a back seat. we learned how to paint little wooden cut-outs and mastered the basic brushstrokes. after a few months, our teacher moved away leaving me devastated and craving more. having battled low self-esteem all my life, i didn't have the confidence to seek out another teacher so i decided to go it alone by teaching myself from books.

after years of painting florals on wooden, decorative items, i tried painting on canvas, and animals then became my new subject of interest. i loved the challenge of realism in my art.

not long after, i was approached by a few people to teach so i did. i taught from my home studio for two years and, then started teaching at someone else's studio for over a year holding weekly classes and regular workshops. it went well for a while but i started to feel the pressure of a domineering studio manager, who happened to be one of my students, and i also realised that i rarely had time for my own painting anymore. most of my time was spent prepping and painting example canvasses for students and workshops. i yearned to have my own painting time back as i greatly missed that. i stopped teaching at the other studio and taught solely from my own home studio for another year. by then, i was over the whole teaching thing and now, i am only teaching one student for one day a week until she has finished her current project.

i feel like i lost myself over the course of the past few years because i was so busy creating what others wanted to paint. however, in 2009, i plan on finding my creative self again....claiming my power back and releasing the creative goddess within.

positive and joyful change is in the air.

photo a day - NOT for arachnaphobics....& book club

JANUARY PHOTO A DAY

late afternoon, i was outside contemplating what to take for today's photo when i noticed there was a large mound of soil in my chilli plant pot. i picked up the plant's name card and started moving the soil back into place. it was all sticky and seemed to clump together.....next thing i knew, this huntsman spider surfaced from under the mound. well i'm about 95% sure it's a huntsman spider......there seems to be several varieties.

click pics to enlarge....if you dare
i was taken by surprise and, though very much alive, it was quite lethargic.

i left it alone as i don't like killing spiders unless they are the dangerous kind. huntsman spiders are pretty harmless and i would never kill one intentionally. i wondered if it might have shed its skin and was laying low under the soil while in a vulnerable state.....anyway, when i checked back later, it was gone, possibly back under the soil but i certainly didn't want to disturb it again.

the huntsman spider wasn't the only spider i came across today. this one was on the leaf of my frangipani tree. note the heart shape of the abdomen. it skin appears hard almost like armour. i don't know the name of this one.

click pic to enlarge

with the bushland right behind our back fence, we tend to get quite a few varieties of spiders and insects. redback spiders are my biggest concern and i will kill them because they are venomous. they belong to the same family as the american black widow spider. the redback spider has always been known to stay hidden under chairs, holes in walls etc. but, in the past five years or so, their habits have changed and they are getting more daring, now showing up in the open under house eaves and even inside homes. we have actually had them dropping down through the exhaust fans in the bathroom ceilings.

i will try not to have such a scary pic for you tomorrow.

Creative Every Day - i made a start on covering the journals today. i just need to decorate them now.

oh, and i'm almost finished the second book, new moon, in the twilight series. i only started it yesterday afternoon so not bad going.

BLOG BOOK CLUB - 12 SECRETS OF HIGHLY CREATIVE WOMEN

today marked the start of our next blog book club on the book - 12 secrets of highly creative women by gail mcmeekin. click on the picture link to find out more. we will be reading and discussing this book at the pace of one chapter per week over a twelve week period. i will be discussing chapter one over the coming days so, stay tuned....